One fish, two fish...

Going into the Regal Union Square Stadium 14 theater last night, my mind was made up that Catfish was nothing but a hoax. I'm not sure why I was so sure about this. I think it mostly had to do with the well-crafted trailer which has a certain 'you've-never-seen-anything-like-this-and-there's-probably-a-good-reason-for-that' feel to it.

Well my friends, Catfish is real. Really fake! Psyche. It's real...ly bad! Got you that time. Hey c'mon! Oh I was only kidding! Come back!

Annnnd scene.

[Catfish. Out now in select theaters]

Breakfast Clubbing

So, I was graciously invited to a special screening celebrating the 25th anniversary of “The Breakfast Club" hosted by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. Seeing it on the big screen with a jam packed audience at the gorgeous Paris theater left me reading things more closely than the last time I caught this on TV.

That might also be due to Kevin Smith's interview with Molly, Allie, Judd and Anthony following the screening. Let it be known: Kevin Smith is freakin' hilarious - would it be beneath him to consider stand up? The Wall Street Journal did a pretty good job covering their shmooze-fest here. They'll tell you what Emilio was up to.

I was born in '84 so I can ride the '80s pop culture train but only if I'm accompanied by an adult. Therefore, I relate way (waaaaaaaay) more to the '90s but I can't name a teen movie of the decade that even touches Breakfast Club's simple sincerity. During the cast member chit chat we learned that John Hughes cut a ton of BS from the final product of this film: dream sequences, half naked teachers, more kissing. And he let the crew improvise a ton on their own, so what came together (due in large part to a genius editor) is a bare bones story without any distractions.

I never thought I'd look back on the '80s and call them simple times -I mean- the hair teasing alone seemed like a lot of work to me. But watching this now made me very nostalgic for my heyday in the 90s, as do lots of things these days.

Anyway's, now I'm inspired to find highlights in under-the-radar-90's teen movies. Get ready for a regular segment on this topic. Suggestions are welcome!

Awesome image credit: Mark Todd, commissioned by Entertainment Weekly.

Lesson Up

Cause and effect [Coz ehnd ehfehkt]
n. and n.
1. Pretty self-explanatory

E.g. The PR machine for David Fincher's upcoming Facebook thriller, 'The Social Network', is in full force, at times painting its firebrand CEO Mark Zuckerberg in somewhat of an assclownish light. As it happens, this week Zuckerberg has announced his commitment to donate $100 million dollars to the Newark school system. Now that's some cause and effect ish right there.

(The real lesson here, of course, is that it is in the public's interest to make as many slanderous, unauthorized biopics about our most hyper-rich moneybags. Now go and be bad.)

69 Boy(girl)z

I grew up in a cable TV-less household. This left me with seven basic channels to choose from: CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, UPN 9, WPIX and PBS.  There were probably several reasons why WPIX (which has since dropped the far-from-vestigal W in its name) was my favorite of the bunch, but all I can recall at this present moment is that it was the closest thing I had to a movie channel. What I remember most are the commercials they ran for their movies. Well actually just a little salient bit of each. For example there's the clip from 'Moonstruck' where Cher urges some guy to 'Snap out of it!' and, without fail, slaps him in the face. Another I can recall is for 'Tootsie' with the stars & stripes imagery shown in the picture above. I remember it so goddamn well. However I never saw either of these movies.

Now when my pizza guy demanded that I watch Tootsie the other week, I expected to see something along the lines of Dustin Hoffman as a woman marching and saluting the camera for two hours. I was wrong. It's more like Dustin Hoffman as Mrs. Doubtfire for two hours, but replace Sally Fields with steady employment.

Choice quote: 'Tell me what's wrong or I'll kill you.'

dumb or retarded

(the TCP has temporarily awakened from its REM sleep to participate in lucid screening's third annual white elephant blog-a-f*ck-i-just-watched-a-really-sh*tty-movie extravaganza)

assignment: DOA: Dead or Alive

i love trying new things. like this floating glass shelf i installed in my apartment during my leisure time. i'd never used a drill independently (powerful!). nor had i ever purchased screws at a hardware store before (15 cents each!). firsts are funnnn.

this axiom does not always hold true however. some firsts are horrible. like your first oral surgery procedure. or your first holocaust nightmare. or watching your first feature-length movie based on a mildly-popular xbox game by a company called mindfire. yea, some firsts aren't fun at all.

'coming soon to video' trailers: a movie called 'black sheep' that doesn't star chris farley, 'red line' which is impossibly not listed on imdb, and 'born to fight' which literally has no reason to exist except to meet the $2.99 price point at the waldbaum's checkout display.

i've never played DOA before so that may have hindered my overall viewing experience. so many questions! why would the DOA tournament knowingly invite a 'master thief' to compete? why would the passcode to the vault containing the $100 MM cash prize be 'hidden' on the neck of the founder's daughter? it's literally under her ponytail.

i did know going in about DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball. so when the contestants organized their own beach volleyball game, i gave myself a high-five in my brain cuz i was totally in on it.

the movie itself is broken up into days, which is really cool because that's how time works.

kevin nash (above, acting) used to be a professional wrestler called kevin nash. in DOA he is asked to provide comic relief. hahaha! the star of DOA is eric roberts whose acting credits include the silver-haired lothario in the killers' mr. brightside video and the well-dressed lothario in mariah's we belong together video.

thank you to whoever suggested this piece of crap.
dead or alive? dead. definitely dead.

shhhh...

this blog is sleeping..

oh yea

i know i'm mad tardy on this one, but ALL criterion movies are 40% off on their website 'til this tuesday.